A Mothers identity

This is a topic that has come up in several different conversations for me lately, so I feel it's appropriate to talk about it.

Having children is an absolute dream come true it's a wonderful, eventful, difficult but amazing adventure and I wouldn't replace it for anything. But more and more this feeling of feeling a bit lost consumes me. When you have children to care for, they come before anything.

The day starts with whichever child wakes up first and instantly it's not about me. If i desperately need a wee I will get the crying baby first and then go.

At breakfast I will ask Noah what he would like and then prepare what ever he's chosen before I've even had a cup of tea.

I choose India's outfit for the day to make sure it matches and is practical. I make sure Noah's uniform is clean (most of the time) and looking smart.

I will allocate the majority of my time in the morning getting the kids ready for the school/day and give myself 10 mins right at the end to throw on whatever clothes are on top of the pile.

I even shower at night now when the kids are in bed, because there just isn't time in the morning.

Anyway my point here is that as a parent your priorities shift, which is right and how it should be.

However what I think happens after a long period of this is that you slowly forget how to make decisions for yourself. This may not be the case for everyone but I know other mums that are/have experienced the same.

Me personally I can't focus on my work and the big picture for it, I change my mind about the direction of it about 5 times a day. I think of a thing for it, I get really excited about it and then get frustrated because I can't sink my teeth into it because the kids are my priority and they take up time.

I've talked about this lots with my husband, my mum and friends who are in a similar situation. It helps to talk, it helps to realise that these feelings of not knowing which direction you are going in is normal, as a parent you are pulled in so many different directions and have to play so many different roles that it's totally understandable.

What I am telling myself and will tell anyone that relates to this is, it's ok to feel lost but also your not alone and that it won't last forever.

Personally for now I'm going to strive for small goals and save the bigger ones for when I have more time and energy to achieve them.

I know that I'm being the best mum I can be to my children and that they are happy and healthy so that's enough of a win and direction for now.

Factoring in "me time" is a big important goal too. Today I booked a trip to Dublin to visit a very good friend of mine. It will be a weekend of zero responsibilities and I can't wait!

Anyway to all the mumma's out there old and new, your awesome that's what you are!

Rose x